The other day I told my wife I wrote a good morning column for the paper. She mentioned that while others had mentioned their significant others in their Good Mornings I had never mentioned her in any of mine. I guess that's because I don't really write very many. She persisted and convinced me, by holding dinner at ransom, to write a Good Morning about her.

My wife and I share an interesting relationship. We've been married for what seems like 20 years and we are both pretty sarcastic people and jokers in general. Case in point her nickname for me is stupid, mine for her is the same. Now before anybody calls Dr. Phil and tells him about our messed up relationship I need to say that my wife loves me, I am sure of it. I know this because I can't sit on the couch without her sliding over and trying to cuddle with me. When she does this I usually cringe and ask her what she thinks she's doing. Then as I start to think about where my next meal is coming from and just sit there.

A couple of years ago I called a girl I worked with stupid and felt guilty, like I was cheating on my wife. Never again. From now on my wife is my only stupid.

Sometimes as I sit on the couch I see her coming and can tell she wants to cuddle. I'll wait until the last possible second then get up. This drives her crazy and sometimes she'll chase me around the house wanting a hug. About the time she catches me the dog, who's nickname is also stupid, sees what's going on and realizes that we must be asking her to play so she squeezes between us, tail wagging and a smile on her face.

So there you go honey, I wrote a good morning about you and even alluded to the fact that you cook a decent meal. Now, if you will just leave me alone and stop making green beans things will be alright.

Oh yeah, I suppose I should say I love you.